I’d rather own something that’s worth millions to nobody, than something that’s worth nothing to millions.

“He’s going to give me a piggyback ride home. He’s my designated walker.”

“I’m strapped for cash, and I’m also strapped to a chair in someone’s basement.”

“At the hospital, I won’t be in fair condition. I’ll be in unfair condition, and…”

“I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely …”