If a man is choking to death on a bite of steak, there is really only one thing to do—finish eating his steak.

“I make ridiculous like I make damn sure nobody sees me while I’m making it.”

“One Mormon can do the job of many more men. I should know, because I was born i…”

“I stole the y, and what was yours is now ours.”

“I wish I could flush down my fears, but I can’t, because they’d clog up the toi…”