If given the choice, I’d take five ones over a five-dollar bill, because women prefer men with lots of money.

“I’m wearing shoes made of sea foam, and I am here to seduce the elderly. If you…”

“A blanket could be used to keep an iceberg warm. People are so selfish and want…”

“My trash can got stolen five times. Finally the owner just let me have it.
”

“Spain is 4/5ths pain and 1/5th S. I drank that fifth, and I loved S.”