If I ever go to China, I’m going to find a piano and play “Chopsticks”--only not with my fingers, but rather I’ll be using two forks.

“In my dream I was a seal, and I made love to a seagull. Then I got eaten by a s…”

“I had a dream my house was on fire, and I tried to rescue all the cats—and none…”

“Planning is worrying, only in a productive, proactive form. Worry has to be a l…”

“I was alone in that room. Of course, there were bodies all around, but they wer…”