If I grew an inch a day, in 365 days I’d be one year tall. I’d be over three basketball hoops high, but I’d still only be able to palm a Sunday once a year.

“I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that rea…”

“I don’t punch walls, because walls don’t punch back. I also don’t punch things …”

“The monkeys, they just went bananas.”

“A brick could be used to tell the world’s largest Yes what you really want to t…”