If I only ate popsicles, I wonder if I’d rather freeze or starve to death. Freezing or starving, they’re like either option in a two-party political system.

“I am the dinosaur of love. Specifically, I am a pterodactyl, and you are my sil…”

“Would you mind terribly if instead of serving desert, I masturbated quietly at …”

“My math is so fuzzy you should pet it. Four minus two isn’t two, because betwee…”

“A traditional doctor gets paid to push pills, vaccinate, radiate, and basically…”