If I owned a dry cleaners, I’d open at 9 and clothes at 5. Ugh. That pun was spot on. I’ll try to remove it with bleach.

“Science doesn’t listen. Science has mice growing out of its ears. Wait, I mean …”

“If a man was choking, what would I do? Well, I’d remove my penis from his throa…”

“The cool thing about unemployment is every day is Saturday.”

“A brick could be used to measure the speed of gravity, but an apple offers a ta…”