If I owned the Grand Canyon, it would be my largest antique.

“I called, but the phones were all tied up. And so were the operators who normal…”

“My date couldn’t make it to dinner, because at the last minute I backed down fr…”

“Life's too short to take yourself seriously, and too long to take a wife joking…”

“People say, How could God allow helpless children to die? While I look around t…”