If I spent as much time as I did money, I’d be dead tomorrow.

“She’s beautiful, but she’s also got brains. I’ll bet zombies would love to eat …”

“I’ve always been a pretty open person, much like a 9-5 store at 6.”

“I dig art. With a shovel. In the cemetery.”

“Shaving a sheep is considered foreplay in some countries. But I don’t consider …”