If I wanted to eat leftovers, I wouldn’t have taken a dump in the Tupperware.

“Call me Clyde. Call me Dale. Call me a Clydesdale.”

“It’s not uncommon for me to be early to meetings by as much as a half a gallon.…”

“It’s impossible for me to applaud your successes when my hands are too busy pat…”

“At the time of the murder, I had an airtight alibi: I spent the night in a Zipl…”