If I were among midgets I didn’t know, I’d be afraid they’d see I was uncomfortable making small talk.

“I like to spoon after I fork.”

“There’s nothing more important than literary merit, and that’s why I not only c…”

“Me and my girlfriend aren’t a good fit. Her clothes are much too small for me.”

“If I had a half, I’d split it in half and share it with you. That’s love. Then …”