If I were the King’s official mapmaker, I’d also be the second largest landholder (after the King, of course). Would I own the land? Of course—just look at all the official maps.

“I think astronaut's helmets need to have Viking horns affixed to the side, to l…”

“She puts the “She” in Sheila. Who am I talking about? Why, Sheila, of course. I…”

“The site of her warmed my heart, like a mitten over my penis. 
Can you please p…”

“If I tried to mail our love, it’s irregular shape and unknowable dimensions wou…”