If love came in a cardboard tube, I’d probably send it priority mail. But I’d make you pay for shipping.

“I like my eggs sunny side up at midnight, and I wear sunglasses when I eat them…”

“Who leads the world in consumption? America! Who has more lawyers per capita? A…”

“I like to fantasize about how far I’ll have come in a year. A year from now, I’…”

“A brick could be used as a scapegoat. But don’t blame the brick. The brick didn…”