If love were a color, it’d be transparent, like all women’s clothing should be.

“Love is a blue balloon that wants to be orange. Go Gators!”

“A brick could be divided into four equal pieces and split among three friends. …”

“I talked to a mother of nine last night, and I thought, “Nine is nine years too…”

“I’ve been giving my armpits mixed signals, may they come to know peace, prosper…”