If love were orange, like an apple, there’d be nothing to compare it to.

“A candle that smells like asshole would be an instant hit in prison.”

“Love, like glue, is a four-letter word that ends in “e,” only much stickier. An…”

“I want to sit on the sofa, eating potato chips, while wearing one of those vibr…”

“When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you wi…”