If my chest grew cat hair, I wouldn’t know whether to pluck it or pet it.

“I wish I had eyes that changed colors from blue to gray, and then after I cried…”

“Teach a man to fish, and he can provide for others. Teach a man selfishness, an…”

“Cats like to cuddle more than any other living creature, including zombies, whi…”

“I’ll bet Ryan Lilly drinks coffee like a flower—a lily. I drink coffee more lik…”