If my name were Nubby Blues, I wouldn't be a jazz musician, I'd be a disabled Vietnam vet on welfare.

“I’m thinking ahead to how I’ll be thinking back to me thinking ahead in this mo…”

“I put my deodorant on like I’m painting my armpits with a paintbrush. Art is ev…”

“Governments are nothing more than elaborate Rube Goldberg apparatuses, operatin…”

“I’ll only blow my nose into green handkerchiefs. Why? Because all my brown hank…”