If my nipples lactated mustard, I’d wear a bra made out of two hamburger buns.

“One of my seminars is “Leadership in the 20th century: How being a century behi…”

“A brick could be used to help defeat all incumbent politicians whose last name …”

“Maybe is forgettable. Only yes and no are memorable. Be bold with your love and…”

“I don’t like Mondays, especially if they occur on Fridays.”