If politicians lived to be only 30-years-old before dying, that’d still be 30 years too long.

“I can’t get car parts at Lowes, the home improvement store? If I lived in my ca…”

“If I worked at a Laundromat, I’d steal money, and if I worked at a bank, I’d st…”

“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”

“It’s not yummy gum if there’s no bubble. Just ask the Federal Reserve.”