If somebody tells me and my wife to get a room, I always ask, How about the kitchen?

“Your dog looks dirty. You could give it a bath, or I could piss on it for free.…”

“A blanket could be used to what the hell your way out of your neighbor’s bedroo…”

“It’s hard to believe an eight-foot tall man can come out of a tight vagina. Obv…”

“I’m older than myself. At least I will be, once my clone gets here.”