If somebody’s a jerk and says something nasty, be a bigger jerk and say something kind and walk away.

“I gave blood today. It came gushing out of my nose. And anus.”

“I prefer kissing over dinner. Not that I prefer kissing to dinner, but I prefer…”

“The most the average person probably reads in a day is a STOP sign or two. And …”

“How many supermodels can you fit in a toothpick canister? I don’t know, but I p…”