If taxis were patriotic symbols, I’d flag one down on the Fourth of July.

“I got my nails done today. I’m so glad that after 30 years, they’re finally fin…”

“In a lot of ways I am like a duck. I love the water; I have large, web-like fee…”

“I’ll give you money to buy what I’m selling, because I’m a savvy salesman.”

“If I were as tall as the day is night, I’d be a midget.”