If Twinkies grew on trees, as nature intended, then I would like to irrigate your fertile valley. When we make love, bring your own knitting equipment.

“Grandpa had a good life, up until the day we slaughtered him and ate him. Hones…”

“I told the cops I’ve been framed. I told them to just go look in the art galler…”

“A brick and a blanket are going to help me conquer the world. Just give me an a…”

“I cried at the funeral. It wasn’t because I loved her, it was because I was the…”