If you drink, you risk divulging your secrets. Here, have another glass.

“Oh, look, there are jobs available in Jacksonville! Today there are two jobs fo…”

“I wish I could bottle up my penis and sell it at a garage sale. But first I nee…”

“I think the best time to stare off into space is when you’re going 65 on a moto…”

“Take me to Happy Birthday Land. It’s open 364 days of the year, and the one day…”