If you say renewable, I’ll think energy. If you say fore, I’ll think play. If you say binary, I’ll think anal defibrillator.

“If there are #coffee stains on my @Harvard application, it’s because I was up a…”

“I’m only 33% patriotic, because I don’t bleed red, white, and blue. I only blee…”

“I didn’t list listening as one of my skills, probably because I didn’t hear wha…”

“Everywhere I go, I’m second to arrive. My reputation precedes me, and sometimes…”