If your last name were Seldom, I’d use it often.

“Love is to beer as I am to drunk. And you say I’m not romantic. Shoot, I’m so r…”

“Before you enter politics, I pray you lose your anal virginity to a unicorn.”

“I rearranged the letters of the word “neologism” to make the word neologism its…”

“We’re going to go in the back room as two singles, copulate back there, and com…”