If you’re wrestling someone underwater, don’t try to choke them, because it’s redundant since they already can’t breathe.

“My printer printed off blank pages. Is my printer out of ink, or do I just have…”

“Money is seen as a great evil. But I've never seen a pile of cash stab someone.”

“Hospitality is about welcoming you with open arms, and an outstretched erection…”

“A windmill has arms, but does not hug. Where’s the love?”