II’m proud to say that over the past few years there’s been considerable disinterest in my work. But things should pick up once my forklift arrives.

“Do onto others what others won’t do for themselves. If they won’t save their mo…”

“If I could capture the rays of the sun in a can, I'd paint a canvas with it and…”

“The best part of the word "booboo" is the breast. While the word doesn't suck, …”

“I just peed in the sink. Why? Because there was already somebody in the bathtub.”