I’ll agree with you if you promise to argue with me. That’s what love is, right?

“I was able to preserve my integrity, in jars along with strawberries.”

“The list of women he’s slept with is longer than his penis. The list is three i…”

“I cleaned out my belly button last night, and I found the meaning of life. Gosh…”

“Gin is a confusing drink. It’s the only liquid that’s both wet and dry.”