I’ll see a cat and instinctively start petting the hair on my back.

“I’m so old school I’m like a one-room schoolhouse—with no bathroom. I always ke…”

“I write my name on my underwear. Of course, I have to first cross out the name …”

“I got my windshield replaced for no apparent reason. So now I have a new windsh…”

“I’ve always wanted to make love to a triangle, but I’m always two angles short.…”