I’ll tell you what love is. Love is walking up and down Archer Road in Gainesville, Florida and feeling like Cupid. Too bad the cops took issue with me hitch hiking with a bow and arrow.

“I made love in a HAZMAT suit. I think I contaminated the relationship.”

“I got my girlfriend knocked up. Next time I’ll ring the doorbell before I enter…”

“My love is like the collision between a falling statue and still bird poop.”

“On my desk are two things: an unfinished research paper due tomorrow, and a goa…”