I’ll wait until your mouth is full of food before I ask you a question. I’m like a dentist.

“When I was a little boy, I used to work in a sweatshop. We made deodorant.”

“I don’t believe in the zodiac. Whenever anybody asks me what my sign is, I alwa…”

“One of my hobbies is reading finance and economic books—at the strip club, wher…”

“I could have murdered a man today, but by not doing so I saved his life, and th…”