I’m a nail biter. Not when I’m nervous, but when I misplace my hammer.

“Chairs have legs. Four of them, like my father. Meow.”

“Just because I wear a size 14 shoe does not mean I’ll take it off when I go to …”

“It's sad to see old friends have to move away, but at the same time, you know t…”

“I have the world’s third largest fourth place. I keep it in my empty trophy cab…”