I’m a one-man show. I need to start a band. You wanna join? Too bad! What about one-man band don’t you understand?

“A brick could be crushed into powder, like cocaine, and snorted to stimulate th…”

“I love pan pizza. I love pans. I love Peter Pan. I love Peter, but not as much …”

“I’m tired of calling @PapaJohns. I wish they’d call me for once. I’m starting t…”

“If you ask me a multiple part question, and half my answers are yes and half ar…”