I’m a poor worker. The quality of work I do is excellent, but I make no money.

“I nearly ran him over after he ran out in front of my car. So I slammed on the …”

“I have a memory like a baseball glove, so please, don’t toss me a basketball-si…”

“I bought you a box of karate chops, but it could be dangerous to open it with a…”

“I sell Ziploc bags. They’re not empty—they’re full of hope.”