I’m a thief. What can I say, I’ve got sticky fingers. I robbed a sperm bank. But I did it for the people.

“I don’t like salad dressing. I prefer salad undressing. I’m a health freak. And…”

“Water always flows downhill. So does my love. Are you prepared for a flood? You…”

“Please, come in. Let me open the air conditioning vent so you can squeeze throu…”

“I thought she was sexy until I noticed she had a beard.”