I’m ambidextrous. I can write just as poorly with either hand.

“I want to grow a tan and an accent, then dig it out of my garden and staple it …”

“This morning I ate a hamburger for breakfast, and then wept like a baby into an…”

“I have half a mustache. It was a gift from my father, who bought one with a Buy…”

“If I own a business, I work for myself. And if I have no revenue, I work for fr…”