I’m at a point in my life where I feel like I can’t go anywhere. Maybe I’ll try to coax my cat off my lap so I can get up and move.

“I am the leprechaun I rainbow into being. Buy me a beer, and get to know my inn…”

“I ran across an old friend of mine yesterday, and I didn’t even attempt to hit …”

“Right now I’m naked, like how my pizza comes out of the oven. I like my topping…”

“Question for your life: If there were a fountain machine that dispensed destruc…”