I’m growing an Abe Lincoln beard. On my ball sack.

“In a hotel, the 14th floor is the 13th floor. And no matter how hard you try to…”

“She doesn’t return my phone calls. I’d like them back, unopened.”

“On a unicycle, my tire will tire before I do. I ride for charity. I’m trying to…”

“My hair is turning the color of my answer. Maybe I should say yes to keep my ha…”