I’m growing out my baldness, and a mustache. Combined with spectacles (glasses), I’ll be a spectacle. I’ll proudly wear my absurdity like I won’t wear clothes—unless your grandma dies and leaves me her furry robe.

“Like a 9-5 business at 4:59 pm, her legs were open.”

“Weeping willows always remind me of summer. And sadness. Please stop crying swe…”

“I told the cops I’ve been framed. I told them to just go look in the art galler…”

“I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many hom…”