I’m in a biker gang. We deal in drugs. Our chapter president is Lance Armstrong.

“She told me she’d never forget me as long as she lived, and I got offended, bec…”

“After months of training, I broke the record. Then right after that I celebrate…”

“I ran over some dog poop on my drive home last night. But I didn’t feel bad, be…”

“It’s just a dream, I told myself. I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.”