I’m interested in women as a whole, not simply as three holes.

“If there are #coffee stains on my @Harvard application, it’s because I was up a…”

“We had sex by the fireplace. I remember because my waxy nipples started drippin…”

“Probably when people hear our national anthem they think of me. A real American…”

“I had some emotional issues, so I went to a therapist. And guess what I don’t h…”