I’m itching for battle—with a mosquito bite. The only thing in life I’ll scratch at more is the need to be loved. I’m so bloody needy.

“I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails.”

“A skyscraper is to a brick as a pyramid is to____________A) a vagina, B) a part…”

“A person’s favorite word is brother, because he or she can relate to it. I love…”

“I’m not going to catch any fish in the forest using a steak knife as bait. Stil…”