I’m looking for a girlfriend. That’s why I brought binoculars.

“Agatha told me she was late, and I thought, I haven’t slept with her in years—s…”

“I keep my valuable things locked up. Everybody does. Therefore, criminals must …”

“I want to write a song called “Two Straws and a Spoon,” about one man being cuc…”

“Every time I eat an English muffin I feel like I become more grammatically corr…”