I'm not interested in you as a person. I am, however, interested in you as a banana.

“Is a one foot by one foot piece of cloth a blanket? What about if you rotate it…”

“Lost dog. Looks like a chicken. If found, do not attempt to feed it scrambled e…”

“I’m always 15 minutes early for everything. In fact, I was born 15 minutes earl…”

“I’m strapped for cash, and I’m also strapped to a chair in someone’s basement.”