I’m so hungry I could eat some silverware.

“I like my eggs sunny side up at midnight, and I wear sunglasses when I eat them…”

“I haven't personally met God yet, but when I do, I'll ask him if he still belie…”

“The best part about having kids is not actually having to have kids. Thank you,…”

“I want to move to Hollywood and audition for parts just so I can say, “I’m not …”