I’m trying to liquidate my assets. Somebody get me a straw.

“My nostrils smell, but not to you. Oh, they have no odor, unless you count the …”

“I was rubbing the pieces of bacon like they were strands of a lover’s hair. Of …”

“Half of what I write is garbage, but if I don't write it down it decomposes in …”

“I am a people person, and I know how to make people feel comfortable, especiall…”