In a hotel, the 14th floor is the 13th floor. And no matter how hard you try to hide it, it’s still unlucky.

“The picture is grainy. But that’s to be expected when photographing bread.”

“I keep my socks in a filing cabinet, if that tells you what kind of lover I am.”

“It’s not gay to jack off, so how could it be gay to give your clone a handjob? …”

“I wear J. Crew. But only when I go out rowing.”