In a victory speech, I like to thank the opposition, because without their help, I couldn’t have won.

“There’s a faint whiff of feces wafting up my nostrils. But that’s natural, beca…”

“Republicans don’t stand for the beliefs of the right, and Democrats don’t stand…”

“I bought an empty safe, and I keep it empty, because safety doesn’t exist, so m…”

“A blanket could be used like so many poor people get used and then thrown away …”