In my laboratory, I use science to measure love. Whatever you do, don’t drink out of beaker number two.

“I went on a date last night and things went well. If you must know, I got lucky…”

“The best date I’ve ever been on was March 5th, 1982, the year I was born. For a…”

“It’s supposed to be raining Thank Yous on Thursday, after an ingratitude draugh…”

“You stare down your opponent, lights twinkle, but you don’t blink. This is all …”